No.
(And how to say it. )
No to free pitching. So the ad industry finally seems to be finding a singular voice on calling out unhealthy business practice.
The message is clear. Learn how to say, ‘No’, or raise your hand to being a (worn out) door mat. For too long we’ve given, ‘Yes I can’ gold star status. So let’s hear it for, ‘No, not for me’. And relish every word.
But why is it so damn difficult to say?
What scares us the most about ‘nope’ is that we perceive it to somehow diminish us, make us less ‘good’. Less likeable.
Truth is it’s where respect starts.
So much of this people-pleasing stuff goes back to when were children. It came gilded as manners - being good and polite. But boy was it loaded. And we knew it.
So now when every fibre of our being is screaming, ‘No!’ there’s a mute child within, worried about doing the wrong thing.
Bringing this back to creative basecamp. I’m sure you can think of a million and one examples of when ‘no’ is the perfectly right thing to say. Can you stay and work up a few more examples? Can you work the weekend? Can you give me some ideas (that I will then not credit you for)? Can you knock me up a quick logo /speed read my script (again)? Cut to that feeling when you show up or hand over. You’ve been ‘had’ AGAIN. You missed out on doing something you really wanted to do. You denied yourself.
You know what I hate the most? Rather than say, ‘No’, we fall back on those pathetic well-worn excuses. You know the ones. Who is fooling who? And the guilt, the need for a fantastic memory. All because. And even when we’ve made a pact with ourselves to say, ‘No’, we still get caught off guard. Why does a perfectly reasonable, ‘No’, pop out as a, ‘Yes’?
I’ll tell you why. We don’t practise saying, ‘No’ enough. Unlike all our positive affirmations, we just don’t flex the, ‘No’ muscle in a way that’s easy to voice when we need it.
‘No’ needs a brand refresh.
ENTER THE NEW NO. A POSITIVE NEGATIVE (with added feel good factor).
Here are a few to try for size:
(NB. Ditch the old ‘sorry’ appendage. There is nothing to be sorry for. End of.)
I’d love to but I’m already committed to…
Thank you for thinking of me for x , but I like to give things 100% and I just don’t have the time to give x the attention it deserves.
It’s a busy month, let me check my diary when I get back. (Buy time.)
I can’t do that date, but does x work for you? (Buy control.)
It’s not something that feels right for me, but I could put you in touch with x (Helpful.)
I can do it, but I only have an hour. (Compromise.)
Write your own, pop them on your phone. Never get caught without a, ‘No’ in your back pocket again.
Oh and here’s a nice quote…
“Standing up for yourself and saying no doesn’t make you argumentative, sharing your feelings doesn’t make you oversensitive and saying no doesn’t make you uncaring or selfish. If someone won’t respect your feelings, needs and boundaries, the problem isn’t you; its them.” Lori Deschene.
If anything here resonates with you, please share. I’m not saying anything radical, but sometimes a reminder of the basic stuff is all we need to make a big difference.