My partner wants me to give up my creative career because it’s not stable. I get it but I’m devastated
This post is part of THE DEEP STUFF - reflective answers to the questions senior creatives ask.
I write these pieces as a coach and a former creative director. I work with experienced creatives who are navigating confidence loss, change and the pressure to stay relevant. No platitudes. No fridge magnet philosophy, just picking up on conversations that are hopefully useful to share.
This is one of the hardest conversations to have. It’s hard because it’s not about creativity or ability but real life pressures and responsibility. It’s also about identity and ego.
Let’s be honest the tension between creativity and money, ambition and partnership is a long time in the cooking before it reaches crisis point. The signs are there, but get suppressed when things are going ok.
Creative careers are unpredictable to say the least, even successful ones pace the corridors of instability - freelance bias, industry contraction, long hours, emotional burn out and the pressure of staying relevant. From a partner’s perspective (particularly if they don’t work in the industry themselves) it’s hard to witness the toll on the one you love. The knock on effect it has on the relationship can feel unsustainable. The suggestion to ‘give it up’ isn’t out of cruelty, but fear. The fear of what happens if things don’t improve.
This fear deserves respect. It also deserves some proper thought. Time to let go of ego, structure (this is the only way it works for me) and to resist the knee-jerk reaction of, ‘You no longer want me’. Yes, creativity is tied to identity, but that’s not all.
The danger is to see this as a binary choice between responsibility and creativity, rather than the balanced view.
So questions like, What does a sustainable creative life look for me, right now rather than yesterday? What boundaries do I need to set? What options am I not giving any airtime to? Have I dropped the ball on any aspects of my creative profession? These are all questions that deserve proper consideration.
Giving up on creativity is rarely an option. Holding yourself accountable to it is.
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Discover more thinking from THE DEEP STUFF — the real questions senior creatives ask.