I’ve lost interest in sex. Is it stress or something deeper?

This post is part of THE DEEP STUFF — reflective answers to the questions senior creatives ask when confidence and vitality start to shift.

I write these pieces as a coach and a former creative director. I work with experienced creative leaders who are navigating confidence loss, change, and the pressure to stay relevant and vital. No platitudes. No fridge magnet philosophy. Just saying what I hear.


This isn’t a question people come to me with, but it tends to slip out in the “I don’t feel interested in anything anymore” conversation.

I’m not a psychotherapist. I don’t diagnose libido, but when you keep hearing this more and more, it’s not the time to be British.

Creativity and libido both rely on feeling alive, curious, present and yes, sometimes be a bit risky.  (Risky = frisky). When desire narrows at work, say you find yourself managing more than making, coping more than creating, it often narrows elsewhere too. The body doesn’t compartmentalise.

Most of the creatives I coach are high performing, strategic and respected, but managing high levels of stress, emotional fatigue and the constant need to be vigilant puts strain on the nervous system.

In sustained “cope” mode, we tend to prioritise safety not pleasure. Libido isn’t only biological, it’s contextual.It isn’t just your interest in sex, it’s your sense of potency. expression, choice. Spending your days accommodating, containing, editing yourself is no aphrodisiac.

So, if both your creativity and your libido feel flat, it may be worth asking:

Where have I stopped feeling expressed?
Where am I surviving instead of participating?

Sex rarely vanishes without reason, it just needs proper attention.

If you like this mini series and have a question you don’t mind being answered publicly (no names obvs) get in touch by email

Discover more thinking from THE DEEP STUFF — the real questions senior creatives ask.

Previous
Previous

Confidence, relevance, creativity, money, age, identity and change. The questions I hear. The thoughts I have.

Next
Next

I was made redundant from a senior design role. 8 weeks later, I’m doing all the right things, but I feel numb.